So many things have changed over the past few years. One major thing being, I am no longer married. I am now a single mom, and I am doing okay (some days), others are not as great. I am stronger and more resilient, also more tired and definitely not as happy-go-lucky. The major improvement that I have made to my personality is that I have found my belly laugh again. Can you honestly say, when you are caught up in the struggles of a failing marriage, riddled with infidelity and many other challenges, that you aren’t a raging bull, constantly seeing red at the drop of a hat? I turned into a person that I didn’t even recognize, or want to be around for that matter. I am so happy to see my smile again.
I feel through recent events, that I have lost that luster that I was so happy to welcome back into my life. That dreaded moment when your kids start talking up the other woman. When suddenly, she sends “goodnight, I love you” or “I miss you” texts to your children, well aware that you will see said messages. Then you find out that she’s moving in, and taking a less pressing job to spend more time with your kids, or that a new baby will soon be entering the picture. All that runs through your mind is, If I go to prison on assault charges, this wretch will be cuddling my kiddos! (Still may be worth it). Taking a big, deep breath doesn’t work, having a long sob doesn’t work, having a few too many drinks doesn’t work, finding a happy distraction doesn’t work. So what on earth does? Trying to make the best of a horrible situation. They came home from a vacation with perfect (but not better than Mommy’s) updo’s, and cool stories of how Daddy’s girlfriend showed them how to do it. I know I have taught them a thing or two, but I knew it was time to take their “big girl skills” to the next level. We got straight to the kitchen. I passed down some of my famous recipes.
When life hands you lemons, you bust out your homemade lemonade recipe and get to sippin’ the sweet goodness that only comes from mama to daughter. It’s a right of passage, a memory that cannot be replaced by any other woman. When the warn, sweet sunshine starts pouring through the windows, and the stand goes up in the front yard…smiles will be had, memories will be made, and whatever hurt you may have been feeling will have gone away, even if only for the day. Now I need spring to get here quickly, but don’t ask me to babysit, or we may be selling more than lemonade! (Kidding…kind of).
Here’s an updated pic of the fam.